While writing my last post, i realised just how much cash Centrelink owes me, and just how helpful it’d be in progressing my plans to GTFO Australia. So, armed with new hope for making my life easier for once, i grabbed my phone and made the call!

I’d like to point out how enthusiastic and hopeful the last paragraph was, as it really puts my experience in perspective.

After hanging on the line listening to some horrible government propaganda for a while, i got transferred to an operator. She went through the usual red tape, and assured me that claiming back to my initial claim date would be no problem. She was nice, everything went smoothly, too easy right?

WRONG! BAM! Job search training.

What, pray-tell is job search training? i don’t even know, and I’ve been attending it for five days.

Basically, to get the money out of Centrelink, i need to attend this course wherein the concept is that participants are taught useful techniques and strategies to assist them finding work.

Notice i said concept?

I’m pretty damn sure the first “lesson” was a thinly veiled “CAN YOU READ, DUMBASS!?”. The second riveting endeavour, “Time Management” – “CAN YOU READ TIME, DUMBASS!?”, and so on and so forth, ad naseum.

As I’m sure the more imaginative among my dwindling readership (bullshit, no-one reads this, you don’t have one!) can imagine, i was bored senseless. My first day, after completing the “exercise” in like ten minutes, i coloured in the back of an A4 sheet of paper in tiny little checkboxes. Then counted them. There was 1,523. At that point the woman taking the class even had the audacity to approach me and ask “are you.. maybe.. a little bored?”. To use the term “staring daggers” would be putting it mildly in this situation.

Anyway, it’s only 5 days worth, and if i get my payout it’ll be worth it. If not, what have i lost? it’s not like i do anything with my time anyways..

Seriously, the rest of my free time is either sitting at home, being a retarded fitness addict running up and down Buderim, at the beach, or sitting at Starbucks drinking coffee, reading, writing, and flirting with the waitress there.

Needless to say; i’m both bored and lonely.

AND I’m getting no closer to my departure as of yet.

oh woe is me?

- Matt