Agitated – Redux

I decided on the title for this one yesterday, while swamped with work and inundated with mouthbreather idiocy. I’ve since had a chance to cool off, but lets see if i can get my point across, shall we?

So i called it, Agitated – Redux.

The point I’m trying to get across in only two words is that to me, nothing has really changed.

I mean – everything has changed, I’m no longer writing this at 5am in the dark at home after not sleeping and drowning my sorrows in fine liquor. I’m writing this from my desk at 7:30am in a nice warm office, with my extra-espresso-laden long black sitting beside me like a faithful companion, waiting to be assaulted by the inevitable stupidity that results when people are exposed to technology.

Don’t get me wrong, i don’t blame them.

Technology is hard for most people, computers are based on logic (well, based on the combined unmatched logic of hundreds of software developers – inherently illogical, but i digress) which is very much as foreign in people as common sense (which should be a fucking superpower it’s so rare)

I do my best to explain it in simple terms, use lots of analogies, and be very forgiving – it’s not their job to know these things. Yesterday i explained TCP/IP in terms of a highway. I thought it was a masterpiece.

What i do blame is idiot IT staff.

I’ve worked with many throughout my career, and there’s one type in particular – They’re your stereotypical high school repressed nerd, who’s out to lord his knowledge over anyone he can to get back at them for calling him NERDLINGER in school. Examples such as throwing technical terms at people, making excuses for not doing their work that sound plausible to an outsider as they have no knowledge of technical procedure, but are really thinly veiled lies, and worst of all – bad customer service.

Now, I’m an evil cynical bastard at the best of times, but let me spell it out for all you would-be IT department overlords.

Your job is to make sure the rest of the organization can do their fucking job.

It is not their prerogative to fit in around your schedule. It’s their right and duty to perform their assigned tasks to ensure the company remains profitable, and it’s your duty to ensure that no technical issue is standing in their way. I don’t care if you have to bend over backwards or break rules, it’s your job.

…

All of this being said, there’s another IT department fault.

The yesmen.

“yeah we can do that”, “yeah we can fix that”, “yeah just bring your home computer in I’ll look at it”, “oh you wanna watch porn at work? no worries, we’ll sort it for you”

There needs to be rules. Some IT departments start with the best of intentions and end up trying to support everything under the sun. Eventually this falls down around them, and if you’ve ever worked in a corporate environment you’ve probably seen examples of this behavior. Your IT staff seem pushed to the edge, they have no spare time, and any requests for procurement are met either with outright denial or heavy handed delays for “evaluating technical requirements”

—-

So essentially, I’m frustrated with my job.

At least, that’s one aspect of it.

Although I’m quite gainfully employed, it’s very much in a position I’ve outgrown.

The “network support team” who i apparently report to is constantly coming to me with questions and requests for assistance, yet I’m not even delegated the administrative privileges to fix their issue.

Aside from the professional aspect, there’s the commuting. Matt’s daily routine:

0530 – Wake up, shower, breakfast if there’s time

0630 – Get on the bus in Maroochydore

0715 – Get off the bus in Caloundra

0720 – Coffee. ’nuff said.

0730 – Sit down at my desk. Commence idiocy.

1630 – Leave work, breath sigh of relief

1650 – Get on the bus in Caloundra

1755 – Get off the bus in Maroochydore

1800 – Get on the bus in Maroochydore

1900 – Get off the bus in Buderim

2200 – Go to bed.

REPEAT

That leaves me.. three hours a day with myself, in which i have numerous other things to be doing, and that’s assuming i don’t work late that day, which 3/5 days a week i end up doing.

Add to that the fact that at home I’m enduring family i particularly dislike, as well as the occupational frustration and you have a cocktail for Matt turning to drink. Even moreso than usual.

At least one little light on the horizon is the fact that my tickets are going for $660 instead of the predicted $1800. I imagine $660 doesn’t include tax, but still – dirt cheap.

New projected target cash for moving:

$2150

Assuming tickets will total out at $1000

Still no closer on my visa, but i have the means to apply for it now at least.

This post really served no purpose. Sorry guys =D

- Matt

55 more blog topics to write.

Due to the fact that my job is less eventful than an episode of big brother (ha! take that, canceled defunct TV phenomenon~!) I’ve decided to hunt for some new topics to write about, as i’ll inevitably be writing more often with my increased exposure to internet and my own company.

A quick google search came up with a list i found interesting – as follows;

1. The Story of My Most Serious Injury
2. The Person I Admire Most
3. This Will Be My Epitaph
4. Why I Love My Hometown
5. Why I Hate My Hometown
6. Why I Was a Childhood Bully
7. How I Shop
8. How I Choose to Spend My Money
9. I Wish I Spent Less Money on This
10. Why I’m in My Current Job
11. My Ideal Job
12. My High School Clique
13. My Worst Subject in School
14. If I Had a Super Power
15. Here’s Where My Opinion Differs From the Majority
16. Why I Voted the Way I Did in the Last Election
17. Why I Don’t Vote
18. The Cause I Really Believe In
19. Why I Came To Religion
20. Why I Don’t Believe Anymore
21. Where I Find Spirituality
22. My First Kiss
23. My Worst Kiss
24. The First Time I Had My Heart Broken
25. Why I Travel
26. Why I Don’t Travel
27. My Philosophy on Raising Children
28. Why I Chose My University Degree
29. My Favourite Place on the Planet
30. My Greatest Sin Against the Environment
31. Why I Married My Spouse
32. My Most Hated Movie
33. The Book That Changed My Life
34. My Unexpected Mentor
35. I Couldn’t Live Without This Song
36. If I Hear This Song Again, Radio Personalities Will Suffer
37. I Have the Craziest Uncle Ever
38. Why I Believe in Luck
39. Why I Don’t Believe in Luck
40. How I Earned My Worst Karma
41. Where I Volunteer
42. Why I Don’t Volunteer
43. My Favourite Item of Clothing Growing Up
44. If This Celebrity Knocked On My Door, I’d Run Away With Them
45. Why I Care About Celebrities
46. Why I Love This Sport
47. Why I Hate Sports
48. When I’m at My Most Self-Indulgent
49. How To Be Selfless
50. My Childhood Dreams, and How I’ve Fulfilled Them
51. How I Learned Patience
52. How My Hard Work Paid Off
53. I’ve Never Been More Surprised in My Life
54. What Scares the Shit Out of Me
55. The Only Thing I Can Teach You

- shamelessly stolen (liberated?) from here.

So over the coming weeks i’ll endeavor to fill some of these. Stay tuned.

- Matt

New job!

It’s been like a week since i posted and everything is new.

Much to my dismay, i had to leave job search training, (and they say sarcasm doesn’t carry in writing!) as i found employment very hastily. Here’s the scoop;

So here i am. 8am. Sleeping, blissfully. My phone rings – i decide it’s not worth getting up for and ignore it. My phone rings again – ignore, again. Third time’s a charm? i answer it this time;

Bouncy sounding young lady: “Hi Matt, my name is Kelly Hopkins and i’m from Hays IT&T recruiting. You want a job?”

…”you want a job?”

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

Matt: “No. I don’t. It’s fucking 8am and you woke me up. I hope you get cancer.”

End sarcasm.

Matt: “Tell me about the position”

Kelly: “Well, it’s an Engineer role so it’s right up your alley. You’ll be working for the Caloundra shire council. Thing is, it’s a contract role and i don’t know if you’re interested in those..”

Matt (interested) “”Contract role” is a synonym for “Pay-Matt-more-money-for-less-work”. I’m interested. What rate are they offering?”

Kelly: “I can get you.. *shuffling papers* $30/hour?”

Matt: ” SOLD! When do i start?”

Kelly: “Well, they want to do a quick phone interview but.. how about tomorrow?”

So this Kelly girl is my new best friend.

I didn’t end up getting to start the next day, as that night one of the staff members in the Network support section i was to start working in attempted to commit suicide while at work. This makes the role seem more palatable yes?

Regardless, i started work the coming Tuesday, as the staff were undergoing counseling. This was two days ago, and as you can clearly see, I’ve been challenged to no end! (okay, sarcasm doesn’t carry.)

see also: I’m bored. I’m really, really bored.

At the moment, though i’m “ENGINEER MATT”, I’ve been relegated to being the helpdesk bitch for these guys, while their usual helpdesk wench moves up in life – which would be fair enough, treat your staff better than your contractors, it’s logic.

However. The guy I’m replacing.. well.. he kinda.. sucks – and not just hoover-esque, World’s Largest Vacuum style.

Now don’t get me wrong, i like the guy (even though he kinda reminds me of Riorden, the high school nerd-stereotype – we used to joke that his date to the school formal would be a modem, haha) he’s nice. It’s just a professional thing; he’s not really qualified for the job he’s doing now, and i am. We should be swapped around, they’re paying absurd money for me (somewhere around $50/hour) and I’m under-utilized.

But Matt! you say, You’re earning lots, and doing sweet fuck all – you should be loving it! Well, Ms “random disembodied voice criticizing my attitudes”. I’ve got news for you. If I’m not engaged, challenged and generally way in over my head, I can’t perform – i don’t feel motivated.I’ve got two settings;

1. Matt has way too much work, doesn’t understand most of it = Matt goes spastic, works hard, works fast, gets great results due to pure tenacity
2. Matt has not enough work, or not challenging work = Matt does nothing, quits job.

Oh well. Just keep thinking of the money eh?

Speaking of which, Centrelink never panned out, but that’s alright – earning $1200/week before tax means I’ll cruise money wise. My whole trip will be paid for in a couple of weeks. I’m really happy about that needless to say.

Wow. That was a long rant about not much.

Anyway, I’m currently waking up at 0530 to get to work at 0730. An hour on the bus, whee. And for some reason, it takes two to get home. So lets just round that out at four hours a day commuting or preparing for commuting.

This, is the reason I’ve decided to move to Caloundra.

So i went and looked at an apartment yesterday – share accommodation, renting a room in this three-level four bedroom fully furnished apartment. It’s 5mins walk from where i work, which in turn is two blocks from the beach. It’s $140/week, so cheap as – Oh and one of my roommates is a 24 year old dance instructor. Score.

• A = New job

• B = New apartment (hopefully)

So yeah, i should find out if i got the place today, which is awesome. I’ll move in straight away, take up surfing on my lunchour, and generally just enjoy the beach lifestyle way too much.

Quick aside; Weirdest thing happened on Tuesday – i went to the nearest coffee shop to my new workplace to find myself my regular cup of morning invigoration, and there’s this cute girl named Chloe there. She takes my order and when it comes time to ask for my name, says “It’s Matt, right?”

At that point i was a tad perplexed, I’d never met this girl before. “You’re Sarah’s boyfriend right?”. Even more confusion, i don’t know anyone named Sarah. “I think you’ve got the wrong guy *smile*”. She blushes, finishes my order and apologizes.

So I’m sitting there drinking my coffee when it occurs to me – I do know a Sarah. Kinda. Back when i lived in Brisbane – Scott, Zac and i were out drinking and Scott introduced me to this tallish loud redhaired English girl named Sarah.

So when i go back for my second cup of joy, i ask; “Sarah.. Is this Sarah perhaps a tallish.. loud, redheaded, English girl?”

THAT’S HER!

“How do you know Sarah?”

“I met her in a club this one time. She’s pretty unique.”

Fucking weird eh?

- Matt